Solo Hiker with Problems
- sambieni
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Solo Hiker with Problems
Today 2:30pm
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YOSEMITE VILLAGE, CA—Confusing her friends and colleagues as to what could possibly drive her to undertake such an expedition, sources confirmed Friday that aspiring explorer Jillian Greene’s solo hike through Yosemite National Park has evidently nothing to do with soul-searching, an inner journey, or any other form of self-discovery. “Naturally, I assumed she was attempting to deal with a catastrophic event, the loss of a parent, or a devastating breakup or something similar. But no, Jillian is really just using her vacation time to be out in nature, just walking for the sake of walking, I guess?” said Greene’s coworker Demory Jacobs, who noted the baffling 10-day trip requires Greene to carry all her own gear and food, sleep under the stars in all manner of weather, and be completely cut off from technology while in no way helping her come to terms with her true self, make peace with her demons, or ease her transition into a new chapter of her life. “She’s not graduating from anything, trying to reconnect with her inner child, attempting to understand the soul of her distant but nature-loving father, exploring an external wilderness in order to comprehend and inner universe, assuaging her cultural guilt over lands stolen from indigenous peoples, or trying to kick heroin, so we can’t think and any reason she’d want to explore the outdoors. We’re all pretty freaked out.” At press time, Greene’s friends and family expressed regret over not staging an intervention immediately after she revealed her desire to just enjoy the fresh air, silence, and sunsets.
https://local.theonion.com/woman-s-solo ... 1833329867
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- bobby49
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
Frankly, I don't see the solo hiker as having a problem at all. The only problem is with the people who don't understand her.
- el marinero
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
Gotta love the Onion! Thanks for the chuckle.
Last edited by el marinero on Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- psykokid
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
Good ol articles from The Onion, always good for a laugh
- LMBSGV
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
Yes, a great laugh. And also, not that far off from some of the things I’ve heard, especially the hilarious portion in the quote. Last summer a few days before my trip to Brewer Basin, my wife was meeting with someone and she mentioned my trip. The person implored her to prevent the trip because going solo, especially off trail, was nuts, essentially sounding a lot like “coworker Demory Jacobs.”
I don’t need a goal destination. I need a destination that meets my goals.
http://laurencebrauer.com
http://laurencebrauer.com
- dave54
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
Oh! the poor woman.
She obviously needs help.
Maybe a Facebook meme to share, and a hashtag post?
She obviously needs help.
Maybe a Facebook meme to share, and a hashtag post?
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Log off and get outdoors!
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Log off and get outdoors!
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- rightstar76
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
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Last edited by rightstar76 on Thu Aug 15, 2019 2:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
- balzaccom
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
Thanks for the laugh, Sambieni. Much needed these days
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- AlmostThere
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
Sisters in spirit. Hike on, Jillian, hike on. Let the haters seethe...
- Lumbergh21
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems
Saw this a few days ago, but still read it again here. The Onion does it again.
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