Solo Hiker with Problems

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sambieni
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Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by sambieni » Fri Mar 15, 2019 3:41 pm

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Woman’s Solo Hiking Trip Shockingly Doesn’t Have To Do With Inner Journey Or Anything
Today 2:30pm
SEE MORE: TRAVEL




YOSEMITE VILLAGE, CA—Confusing her friends and colleagues as to what could possibly drive her to undertake such an expedition, sources confirmed Friday that aspiring explorer Jillian Greene’s solo hike through Yosemite National Park has evidently nothing to do with soul-searching, an inner journey, or any other form of self-discovery. “Naturally, I assumed she was attempting to deal with a catastrophic event, the loss of a parent, or a devastating breakup or something similar. But no, Jillian is really just using her vacation time to be out in nature, just walking for the sake of walking, I guess?” said Greene’s coworker Demory Jacobs, who noted the baffling 10-day trip requires Greene to carry all her own gear and food, sleep under the stars in all manner of weather, and be completely cut off from technology while in no way helping her come to terms with her true self, make peace with her demons, or ease her transition into a new chapter of her life. “She’s not graduating from anything, trying to reconnect with her inner child, attempting to understand the soul of her distant but nature-loving father, exploring an external wilderness in order to comprehend and inner universe, assuaging her cultural guilt over lands stolen from indigenous peoples, or trying to kick heroin, so we can’t think and any reason she’d want to explore the outdoors. We’re all pretty freaked out.” At press time, Greene’s friends and family expressed regret over not staging an intervention immediately after she revealed her desire to just enjoy the fresh air, silence, and sunsets.

https://local.theonion.com/woman-s-solo ... 1833329867
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bobby49
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by bobby49 » Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:07 pm

Frankly, I don't see the solo hiker as having a problem at all. The only problem is with the people who don't understand her.

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el marinero
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by el marinero » Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:26 pm

Gotta love the Onion! Thanks for the chuckle.
Last edited by el marinero on Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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psykokid
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by psykokid » Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:27 pm

Good ol articles from The Onion, always good for a laugh :)

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LMBSGV
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by LMBSGV » Fri Mar 15, 2019 5:16 pm

Yes, a great laugh. And also, not that far off from some of the things I’ve heard, especially the hilarious portion in the quote. Last summer a few days before my trip to Brewer Basin, my wife was meeting with someone and she mentioned my trip. The person implored her to prevent the trip because going solo, especially off trail, was nuts, essentially sounding a lot like “coworker Demory Jacobs.”

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dave54
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by dave54 » Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:04 pm

Oh! the poor woman.
She obviously needs help.

Maybe a Facebook meme to share, and a hashtag post?
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~
Log off and get outdoors!
~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=

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rightstar76
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by rightstar76 » Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:06 am

Had an intervention taken place, a fictitious conversation that might have transpired:

Family Member: Backpacking in Yosemite without commodifying your experience? That isn't allowed!

Friend: The thought you'd even consider not generating data that can be sold to a third party to predict your future behavior. How dare you!

Neighbor: I mean those articles on toxic masculinity on the PCT. You can't possibly think it's okay not to generate a profit for a corporation by not clicking on a politically correct ad because you're leaving your smartphone behind? I mean that's the purpose of going backpacking, isn't it?

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balzaccom
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by balzaccom » Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:41 pm

Thanks for the laugh, Sambieni. Much needed these days
Balzaccom

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AlmostThere
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by AlmostThere » Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:48 pm

Sisters in spirit. Hike on, Jillian, hike on. Let the haters seethe...

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Lumbergh21
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Re: Solo Hiker with Problems

Post by Lumbergh21 » Mon Mar 18, 2019 8:23 am

Saw this a few days ago, but still read it again here. The Onion does it again.

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