Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

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Wandering Daisy
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by Wandering Daisy »

I was not referring to walking 30 minutes apart, but simply following at a distance of a few hundred feet- still within sight and plenty of time to chat during rest stops. The 10-feet apart may be fine for the leader, but I do not like to follow that close - too much dust, cannot have a good vista of the scenery, and yes, too much temptation to continuously chat - which takes away from really seeing my surroundings. You also cannot keep a steady pace when right up against someone else when you are forced to abruptly stop because the person in front has halted for an obstacle. For me, the positive aspects of conversations on the trail are far outweighed by the negatives. My preference is to socialize in camp, which I do thoroughly enjoy.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by Jimr »

I guess I've been very fortunate. Although I normally do much of my travel off trail, those I've seen both on and off trail have been respectful of me and I to them. Sometimes, it's just a nod or hi, depending on my sense of the other person. Sometimes it's a moment to ask a question or two, then move on. I've never had a tag-a-long or excessively chatty person to deal with.

I guess I've been very fortunate in my choice of partners as well. I don't like to chatter while hiking and I'm comfortable with at least 50ft between us. Dust and abrupt stops are avoided and the occasional branch swinging back like a rocket from the less experienced don't stop with my face (yes, it happened once deep in Goddard Creek). Personally, I don't know how one could chatter while trying to focus on breathing and hiking. I find it an experience in solitude even with a partner. I guess I've picked my partners well. I don't mind if we end up 30 minutes distance between us, but I prefer shouting distance at most. If there is too much disparity between our hiking speeds, then I've picked the wrong partner and will deal with the distance. It is kind of a pain when one has rested waiting for the other to catch-up, then is ready to move on as soon as the other arrives. May as well have gone solo.

I'm sure if I did experience some of what is in this thread, I'd be cordial and hint at first, then get polite, but straight forward if the former didn't work. I suppose if SHE appealed to me, I'd let her tag along, but that hasn't happened except in my wildest dreams and most likely never will. I suspect women are much more leary of unknown men than men are of unknown women.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by Mike M. »

I suppose if SHE appealed to me, I'd let her tag along, but that hasn't happened except in my wildest dreams and most likely never will.
Jimr, I hope your wife doesn't frequent this forum! :nod:

Mike
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by intrek38 »

How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee ????
Start barking uncontrollably like a dog, and if they choose to camp nearby, just howl before they set up camp..
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by Cloudy »

I do treasure the odd chance encounters with folks on the trail. I am not a talkative person by nature - more of a "listener" but I sometimes ask where you are from or if you would care to share my meal because I am polite and am happy whichever you choose to do. I enjoy talking to "foreigners" because they have come all the way from another part of the world to see something that I can drive to in a couple of hours. I can respect that. I regard these encounters as I do chance encounters with other animals. It's in the scheme of things. If I seek solitude, I choose the path less traveled. The only encounters that I do not really care for are large groups of people generally because of the intrusion/commotion that they make on the hiker freeways.

While hiking a trail in Sequoia Park, I met a gentleman and in passing, we both said hello and kept on going. Then we both stopped and turned around. I believe that I said that he looked familiar. He said "you look familiar also". He, with a better memory than I said "I think that we met on top of Forester Pass - you offered my some of your soup". I then remembered the incident and smiled. We went our separate ways. I treasure chance moments like this. It's a salutary example of "what goes around, comes around", karma or whatever you call it and I know in my heart that he would have offered me something to eat also. Perhaps as a result of that chance meeting long before - perhaps not. Who knows? I equate it as to "ships passing in the night".

That being said, I would size the person up in conversation if he wanted to hang with me awhile. You can generally tell if the person is somewhat compatible relatively quickly and I would not be averse to another party (unless I was with my wife/significant other etc.) because some fun adventures have been had in the past from just such meetings. I would stress the limitations (tire quickly, rest a lot) that I bring to the ball and would be afraid of the burden that I would impose on others. If the person was obviously an idiot or "not my type". I would politely decline with the excuse that my enjoyment of nature was in its solitude - which is true. Politeness is always appreciated.

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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by Jimr »

Mike M. wrote:
I suppose if SHE appealed to me, I'd let her tag along, but that hasn't happened except in my wildest dreams and most likely never will.
Jimr, I hope your wife doesn't frequent this forum! :nod:

Mike
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by cgundersen »

Hi Suzy,
This thread has elicited some cute stories, and I think that there are plenty of good solutions, not the least of which is if you choose, you can definitely find ways to avoid people, because the area you're dealing with is HUGE. Plus, if you carefully choose when you go (for instance, my wife and I virtually always take a trip in early-to-mid-June at which time there are very few souls out there except the through hikers on the PCT/JMT; and we generally go 7-10 days without seeing another soul), you can minimize intrusions. Having said that, I've had some delightful interactions with folks whilst on trail, but I've also had the odd instance where I thought I was getting to someplace pretty remote, only to find someone giving me the stink eye. I get it, because I've also given it.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by EpicSteve »

Obviously I misunderstood you a bit, Wandering Daisy. I apologize for that. What you said makes perfect sense. Myself, I prefer approximately 20 - 50 foot spacing if I'm hiking with a partner, depending on terrain and flora, because my partners and I like to discuss scenery/geology/flora/fauna and route-finding quite a lot. While traveling XC in the Cascades in 2008, a big chunk of rotten rock gave way under my partner's feet and he found himself unexpectedly scree glissading down an extremely steep slope. I dashed over and stopped him. He may well have stopped on his own but perhaps not, so I was glad to be close enough to do that. But I totally understand wanting more space. Now to get back to more directly on topic...

Cloudy, your point of view was eloquently written and I agree 100% with everything you said!

I just remembered that summer before last, my best friend and I were hiking the northern half of Yosemite and taking a lunch stop near the creek in Matterhorn Canyon. A fit-looking young man approached us a bit tentatively and explained that he'd never done a solo backpacking trip before and was wondering if he could tag along with us for a while because he was feeling a bit nervous. My buddy and I don't get to see each other very often and we treasure our "bro time" together. But we said "no problem!" because we figured (as Cloudy pointed out) that what comes around goes around. Turns out the young man had just gotten out of the Army and was getting ready to go to college and this was his big adventure in between. He was very nice and we had a great time hiking with him. He camped near us in a torrential rain and booming thunderstorm and then got up earlier than us the next morning (which he had told us he'd probably do) and disappeared. It was a nice interlude and wasn't really much of an intrusion at all. But that's the only time I've picked up a "Klingon" and at least he was nice enough to ask us, so I guess I've been lucky!

Great thread, Suzy! Very thought-provoking.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by Captain Slappy »

Most people I've encountered in the backcountry are good at picking up on social cues and mood. They tend to be in touch with their inner monologues because it's all they've usually been listening to for hours at a time. A lot of people are out there for the solitude, and I respect that since that's what I'm often looking for too. After a day or two without seeing anyone though, I will sometimes get overly chatty. But I keep it in check. On my last long trip, there was a mother from a foreign country with a small child who asked to camp near me one evening because she said her daughter was frightened. Sure. That was fine. I don't think I'd react the same to a solo backpacker staking down right beside me.

But, in general, I can't say that I've had many attempted "third wheels." If it ever became an issue, I think I would do what I normally do in the front country and the real world -- just stop talking to them. Stop and drink my water. Tell them to go ahead or wish them "good luck on the trail today." Now I did encounter a very pleasant looking and friendly young lady at Bishop Pass this past summer who was working in the area. She kept up with me, and we talked the whole way down to the trailhead at South Lake, and I would have gladly socialized with her for hours more. :D
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