Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

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OzSwaggie
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by OzSwaggie »

We hardly ever strike this in Australia, but when we are in the Sierra hiking people pick up on our accents and are often friendly and curious. We like it when people stop to chat with us along the trail because it is such a great travel experience, we meet people from all over the USA and it is so much better than most people's experiences as "tourists", where they only meet the locals when they are providing goods and services. But we don't join up and hike or camp with others; we like to do our own thing and have our privacy. We are very slow hikers, ('cos of me, basically!) so most people scoot past us pretty quick smart!

Having said that, there was one fellow who was just as slow as us, hiking solo but I think not by choice (I think he just didn't know anyone else who liked hiking!). He kept stopping when we did, waiting for us and getting up from his breaks when we caught up with him, that sort of thing, and eventually when we got ahead we nipped off the trail and hid behind a rock while he went past, and we took a good break to give him a good head start. We felt a bit mean and guilty doing this, at the time - but couldn't think of another strategy! When it was clear he had gone well ahead, we just felt relieved.

Sometimes I do get funny feelings about people we meet who get a bit clingy, and worry that maybe they are deranged. (I'm sure some people on the trail have had the same thoughts about me, especially when I'm combining jetlag, altitude adjustment and exhaustion into one neat package!) Unfortunately, my partner and I usually get these feelings about different people, so someone who is freaking me out is my partner's new best friend! Awkward, we need a strategy for that one!

We met one guy once who looked at me with staring eyes and said "I don't know where I am, I just got up this morning and began walking". (we were somewhere near Garnett lake at the time"). He leapfrogged us for a while and we were happy to see him wave from his campsite as we passed by. Another fellow who seemed not to hear anything we said to him tried to forcefully persuade me to accompany him to a cliff edge viewpoint (I don't like heights) - luckily we were in a well populated area near a trailhead at the time, or I would have been worried! We've had lots of well-meaning but flawed advice and trail information and offers of help - we've learned that just because someone is from somewhere in the USA doesn't mean they know any more than we do about this particular part of it!

I generally like to know others are in the general area where we are camping, just in case of trouble, and might wave to acknowledge them, but I don't approach their camps. At the end of a backpacking day, I'm too tired to be looking to socialize, anyway! I just want my sleeping bag!

While we are on the topic of socializing and privacy and trail etiquette, one thing that bothers me a little is the thought that if I tell someone I meet on the trail anything about myself or my life it could end up on the internet in their journal or blog. So "social media" does cause me to clam up about myself when I meet people, ironically enough! Happy to discuss the terrain ahead/behind, water sources, weather etc., or even where I'm from. But if people start asking direct personal questions I'm ready to move on.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by markskor »

OzSwaggie wrote:...one thing that bothers me a little is the thought that if I tell someone I meet on the trail anything about myself or my life it could end up on the internet in their journal or blog. So "social media" does cause me to clam up about myself when I meet people, ironically enough! Happy to discuss the terrain ahead/behind, water sources, weather etc., or even where I'm from. But if people start asking direct personal questions I'm ready to move on.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by LMBSGV »

I've also encountered the "where are you from/where do you live" question a few times when meeting someone on the trail. I usually say "Bay Area" and not get more specific. However, there have been instances when the person/persons want something more specific - "exactly where in the Bay Area?" I'll say "Marin" or my wife's favorite "north of San Francisco" and a couple of times when the vibe I'm picking up from them is good enough "West Marin." But there have been a couple of instances, one time with my wife and once solo, where they wanted specifics and I/we simply lied in response. In both instances the parties were hiking back out and we were going into the backcountry. I/we were suspicious enough of someone who wanted us to give our home address. We also have encountered this line of questioning a couple of times when car camping out-of-state and again resorted to lying in response to someone who was too persistently nosy.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by rlown »

so, where are you really from? Marinish, San geronimoish? :D

I agree completely you never give out your address, but it's also online, and you share stuff on this site with "guests" in an ongoing fashion; we all do.

I did meet a couple at Piute pass from my "neck of the woods". I wasn't the one in our party that asked them where they were from. We were all headed over and into the backcountry.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by SSSdave »

Hi Suzy,

I've backpacked decades in the Sierra and never had to deal with your issue or some of the related others mentioned. But I am not a thru hiker, am often off trails, don't often camp near trails or others. Solo maybe 75% of the time. Reality is there are many backpackers that are probably afraid of really being alone in remote wilderness. Especially those that have not solo'd much if at all. That often shows at popular lake destinations when one finds several groups camping within earshot of each other then otherwise miles along trails or other areas about the destination lake where no groups are camping. As though some groups will hike 8 miles to some lake and then as soon as they see the first campsite where another group has set up, will then start looking for the next legal spot to plunk down at. ((( Gee I guess this is where people are supposed to camp. :confused: ))) Basic gregarious human nature with some. Another related behavior is some people and groups almost always set up camps near and within view of trails as though the notion of looking a good distance away from trails scares them.

As for tagging along with others on trails, I am aware through reading blogs that kind of social trail thing is a cultural expectation for some on thru hiking trails. Same ones who make a big deal about trail names. One just needs to read some of their blogs of where people talk about passing various others, hiking with others, helping others, camping with others and whatever. At times I do enjoy talking to other strangers I meet but will only continue such conversations beyond a few sentences if the other person or party participates to do so. I've hiked a ways along trails with some others I've talked though by that point the other party would be certain to know my destination would not be the same as theirs.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by RoguePhotonic »

It seems like more often than not when I hear where someone is from they say the "bay area". Although the question of where are you from is common with others I personally never ask just because I don't really care. People are just people and it doesn't mean anything to me where your from.

I personally have never cared if someone knows where I live down to the exact address.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by calipidder »

Fun topic, interesting anecdotes!

It really depends on where I am and who I am with. I'm always surprised by people seeking a quiet, solo wilderness experience on the JMT. I consider the JMT to be a very social place, and that comes with good and bad. I have hiked with and camped with several different groups on the JMT, and I embraced the social aspect of the trail and really enjoyed it. It's part of the soul of the JMT, I think. In fact, I've been thinking about doing it again since each time is unique due to the people I meet. Sometimes these people might not be the most...exciting...to spend time with, but with the ebb and flow of the trail, layover days, and pace, it's actually harder to stick with someone than you'd think (even if you want to!)

If I'm looking for a quieter, peaceful trip I'll go off-trail. If I do encounter people out there, I find they are generally of a similar mind set. A quick friendly conversation followed by parting ways. I haven't had any 'third wheels' appear in my off-trail travels.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by austex »

I do enjoy solitude and will adjust wherever. Even living here in Tx someone says they are from in CA. I ask where, do the drill drown to the city level; being from that southern part for so many yrs. I go from there feeling the amount of conversation they/I want and go from there. Comfort level gleaned from both sides
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by jmtorbust »

This is my first post here, and I just recently joined. I've actually been agonizing over this for the last few weeks. I am planning to do the JMT this summer. I was fortunate and secured three permits. However, I am now realizing that the two people who agreed to join may back out. I think it is mostly the sheer amount of planning. I am a millennial and I find that many of the people in my generation cannot focus long enough to make a serious plan more than a week from the day of discussion (even then, it can be very challenging).

So this leaves me in a spot where I must seriously consider going solo. I have wanted to do this trail for a long time and there is a natural window this August, once I finish grad school. I do not envision a time in the next few years where a three week vacation without internet is likely to work so I want to take the opportunity. I want to go badly enough, that I am willing to go on my own if I must. I would prefer to have company, though. I have read on this forum and many others about how it is easy to link up with people once you get on the trail but this thread has me reconsidering.

My question is whether you all think that the JMT is a particularly social trail?

I have gleaned from some of the posts on this string that it is. I am not so obtuse as to force my presence onto another hiker who signals the desire to journey in solitude, but I would likely be unhappy if I got on the trail and found myself alone. I suppose I could handle the days alone, but I imagine I will select more popular campsites for security at night. Based on my experience, I just do not relish the idea of sleeping in complete solitude and I would prefer knowing that someone was within shouting distance.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Re: Trail Etiquette - How to Politely Deter unwanted "third whee

Post by maverick »

Hi Jmtorbust,

Welcome to HST! You will be sharing the JMT in August with quite a few people.
If you plan to camp at the more popular areas along the way you should easily
have others near by so you will not be in solitude. Many folks doing the JMT
are happy to shoot the breeze with you, some are even happy to have others
tag along because they too do not like solitude, but do enjoy the wilderness
setting. Many folks doing the JMT are not looking for solitude, there is plenty
of crosscountry acreage for those who require total solitude.
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I don't give out specific route information, my belief is that it takes away from the whole adventure spirit of a trip, if you need every inch planned out, you'll have to get that from someone else.

Have a safer backcountry experience by using the HST ReConn Form 2.0, named after Larry Conn, a HST member: http://reconn.org
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