Women in the Backcountry Don’t Need Your Help

[Rockyroad]

The most frustrating responses when pointing out a bias, whether it be gender, racial, socio-economic or what-not, is when people get dismissive (that didn't happen), defensive (I'm not responsible), deflect (there's this gal with a gun) or blame the victim (you let it happen). Many cannot relate when they have not and never will be subject to the bias, which is the reason for bringing it up, so people are aware and can reflect on their own actions if they care to change the status quo. Sometimes an acknowledgement is all that is necessary.

[MountainMinstrel]

With that said, a person can only be held responsible for what they say and do, not for the way someone else perceives it.

I'll disagree with this statement. As every performer knows, communication is a two-way street, and if you know that what you are saying or doing is open to misinterpretation, then it's your responsibility to clear that up. If you care.

Calling women "girls" or "ladies" is a perfect example of this, especially if you call men "men" rather than "boys," or "gentlemen." You may think it is innocuous, but only if you haven't been listening at all.

Exactly this. You can't divorce what you say from how it's heard. This is actually an entire thing in leadership / management---the Perception Gap. Intent is important, but so is impact.

Also, I just don't understand a lot of the defensive responses here. If someone told me something I did was bothering them or making them feel bad, I'd want to change my behavior rather than defend it with some sort of "well you're wrong for taking it that way" attitude. Empathy is cool.

I guess the problem I have with that is that in today's world everyone is offended by something... it makes communication rather difficult.

[rlown]

The most frustrating responses when pointing out a bias, whether it be gender, racial, socio-economic or what-not, is when people get dismissive (that didn't happen), defensive (I'm not responsible), deflect (there's this gal with a gun) or blame the victim (you let it happen). Many cannot relate when they have not and never will be subject to the bias, which is the reason for bringing it up, so people are aware and can reflect on their own actions if they care to change the status quo. Sometimes an acknowledgement is all that is necessary.

gal with the gun should have been arrested. Illegal in Yose. No permit on board. Not a victim; A piece of work. I report everything, regardless of sex.
Heck, I walked into a camp when I smelled smoke in French basin and shut them down. They were friendly. All do is say hi.

[TahoeJeff]

in today's world everyone is offended by something

I am offended by this and I'm going to my safe space.

[acorad]

In the bright light of day, I think there has been some miscommunication on my part, and I apologize for it.

My original comment (on page #3) was a very specific response to the published article contained in the very first comment, and only to that published article. I did not read the (dozens of) comments that followed that article before I wrote that comment.

I have now read all the comments (whew!) and I can see that some commenters reasonably perceived that my comment was written in contradiction to their comment(s).

Again, my apologies, and henceforth I will read every single comment before I comment.

I appreciate this board immensely and have no desire to cause any hard feelings among the members.

[maiathebee]

In the bright light of day, I think there has been some miscommunication on my part, and I apologize for it.

Thank you for your sincere reflection! Absolutely no hard feelings. In fact, I super duper admire what type of human you've shown yourself to be here. It's way harder to really confront a criticism and reconsider or revise behavior than it is to continue to dig a hole and continue to throw out empty one-line "I'm right, you're wrong" statements. I know. I've been there. Again, thank you

[LincolnB]

Women in the Wilderness: Two Conversations

1. Heading back from Pyramid Peak, near Tahoe, we came to a not-so-clear turn. One person had fallen behind. I hiked back up, walked down with them. At the turn I stopped to remove pebble from boot, said to go on, the rest of the way was obvious. They stuck with me all the way down. At an icy stream crossing I said: “Careful. Someone took a bad fall here on the way up.”

2. Climbing Cathedral Peak, someone passed us just before the start of the South East Buttress and went straight on up, no protection. We took the Mountaineer’s route. Saw the same person coming down.
Me: “Wow, wish I could do that!”
Reply: “Ten years on rock, you get comfortable with your abilities.”

[mahjzha]

I am an older woman that backpacks regularly throughout the summer, and have encountered several such conversations (are you OK, are you out here by yourself, there are bears here, do you need help setting up your tent, etc. etc. etc.). I smile, nod and move on. That doesn't mean that it isn't irritating to me; just that I don't want to waste the time and effort to engage in conversation with them! As another female friend says "thanks for mansplaining that!" Whether you realize it or not, women bring their past experiences with them, even in the backcountry! I was in high school before Title IV was passed and girls' sports were mandated to be equal to boys sports (no basketball team for me until I was a junior!). I worked as a geologist for many years, often sitting drill rigs, and that was quite an experience working with men that resented the presence of a female - didn't matter that I was qualified and experienced. Other men in the profession often asked why I was working instead of being home with my kids. You name it, and most women have heard it. If you have not experienced these types of interactions, then it becomes harder to understand where we are coming from. I applaud all (men and women) who keep their comments on the trail to "hi, how are you", and allow me to ask for more conversation/advice if I want it!

[bobby49]

I have approximately the same greeting for anybody that I meet on the trail, man or woman, young or old: Have you seen any good wildlife today?

[erutan]

There's sort of two threads intertwining here, I'll respond to the simpler one regarding nongendered advice and trail communication in general my own experiences and thoughts.

If I come across someone off-trail I generally end up chatting with them for 2-45 minutes. Passing people on the JMT/PCT it's just a hi or a nod. Side trails it usually 15s to 2min.

I'll definitely ask for beta if I'm coming up towards a pass or crossing I'm concerned about, or ask people what their route was if they're exiting a hike and I'm on my first day to see how much overlap there will be and what questions to ask. I weigh their beta by what I percieve their experience levels to be of course, but it's useful to know what to expect and loop that into the alternate route plans etc. I'll ask about snow on passes, mosquito levels, stream crossings fairly shamelessly and people seem happy to be helpful.

If someone is heading towards a significant obstacle I've passed (heavy snow, swift crossing) I'll mention it and try to give my experience of it and the gear I had and whether I felt it was overkill, perfect, sketchy, but put it very much into my subjective experience. As a few people have said earlier, give information not advice as everyone has their own skill, experience, and comfort levels. I do sometimes err on the side of caution with this if I'm within a day of a trailhead (which is making assumptions I know) and I'll let people know the night before was in the 20s, or that there are black clouds they can't see on the other side of a pass then mention where I saw camps further up the trail that were sheltered before hitting it and let them make their own decisions on what to do with the information. Unless everyone is faking politeness these interactions are well recieved - I tend to have a cheerful/casual "hey here's a heads up" attitude that reflects how I'd want to be alerted to possible obstacles.

Sometimes people are interested in a piece of gear or setup or something and I'll chat about it, but don't start conversations on it aside from mentioning "nice pack!" in passing if people also have an Osprey Exos.

If people ask for a time estimate to get to the top of a pass I'll try and guess, but mention I wasn't looking at the time and was going down not up etc.

PS The one gear thing I'll give unsolicited advice for are steripens - my accumlated anecdotal experiences show them to have a 50%+ rate of failure in the backcountry (it can't actually be that high) so I'll ask people that I see using one if they have some tablets etc as a backup in case it fails, but don't try to push them to switch to any particular primary filtering system. This is probably my behavior that is the closest to being obnoxious or intrusive.