I crapped my pants | High Sierra Topix  

I crapped my pants

Grab your bear can or camp chair, kick your feet up and chew the fat about anything Sierra Nevada related that doesn't quite fit in any of the other forums. Within reason, (and the HST rules and guidelines) this is also an anything goes forum. Tell stories, discuss wilderness issues, music, or whatever else the High Sierra stirs up in your mind.
User avatar

I crapped my pants

Postby ucangler » Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:46 pm

I feel I must get it off my chest as the more I talk about it the less traumatized I am. I took my dog last fall to Echo Mountain in Los Angeles. It's a 5 mile hike that is carved on a cliff side that runs single file up the summit. About 2000 ft over 2.5 miles. The trail at that time was packed with people and trail bunnies (women) at the time. I had full back packing gear to train myself for an up coming trip to C&R section of the Kern. About half way to the top, I felt an "issue" with me and it was a strong "issue". I knew I had to get to the top fast. It was the only flat ground that could give me some privacy to do my deed away from people but I had another mile to go. Over that last mile, I felt about 10 bowel movements. Each time it got stronger and each time I had to fight back harder. People started pissing me off bad at that point. They were asking about my dog, the pack I got for it, etc. I didn't care, I had a place to be and screw everyone else. I must of have seemed like the biggest ******* (pun intended) to the friendly hikers that I passed, by kid or lady, I didn't give a F*&^. I finally came along the last stretch of trail that lead to the top where I could see the gold at the end of the rainbow. HOWEVER, it was at that point where I had another powerful movement, I fought hard, I fought long, all the way to the end and even through the end. My sphincter was pinched air tight, my buttocks pinched like a clam in danger from a starfish, but it didnt stop it. I fought back tightening the valve and pinching it hoping no more would come out but even pinching it didn't work. All the chili hot dog and crushed red pepper seeds from the night before went down my legs into both of my waterproof boots. My dog immediately noticed and couldn't get his nose out where the sun doesn't shine. At that point, I was relieved but now I had a 2.5 mile walk of shame down to my car. Everyone noticed the smell. I heard people passing me saying "was that the dog" or "is he sick?". STFU people and get off the effing trail is all I had to say. I finally got to my car and realized I had no extra clothes....so I laid down an extra shirt I had and took off all my clothes and boots, stuck them in a trash bag. I called my wife and told her to bring me some extra clothes for me when i got back home. "Babe?" as I called my wife. " I **** in my pants" very softly I said it. "what happened? my wife asked. "i **** in my pants" a bit louder. I had continue to repeat that louder and sell her on the fact I shat in my pants, because she didnt believe me. I drove back home butt naked with **** all over myself in a smelly car in about 85 degree heat. Later that night, I crawled into bed and slept in the fetus position next to my wife drowning in my own despair, embarrassment, and humiliation. I was like a dog with hurt feelings....lol



User avatar
ucangler
Topix Acquainted
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:23 pm
Experience: N/A

User avatar

Re: I crapped my pants

Postby limpingcrab » Tue Mar 17, 2015 3:12 pm

Hahahahaha! That's so gross.

If it makes you feel any better I've crapped myself twile while snowboarding. Both times landing so hard on my butt that my insides basically out, but not bad enough to fill my boots! The second time I tore my sphincter so I couldn't hold it in for almost two weeks, that sucked.

Maybe this should just be the TMI thread
User avatar
limpingcrab
Topix Regular
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:38 pm
Experience: Level 4 Explorer

User avatar

Re: I crapped my pants

Postby ucangler » Tue Mar 17, 2015 3:24 pm

Trust me, after the incident, I scoured online to find others....it made me feel better I wasnt alone. LOL
User avatar
ucangler
Topix Acquainted
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:23 pm
Experience: N/A

User avatar

Re: I crapped my pants

Postby RoguePhotonic » Tue Mar 17, 2015 5:14 pm

The closest I have came to shitting my pants was in 2011 when I was getting back to Roads End. I had not gone the day before and I figured I could wait until I got to the trail head. Well the last half mile it was hitting me hard. As I crossed the bridge in front of the ranger station I thought I was going to crap my pants right there a hundred yards from the bathroom. I certainly got my pack off in a hurry and did a little dance while I tried to get the pants off.

Never actually shat my pants since I was like 14 in Oregon. We were camped in the woods for the weekend and being a little idiot I thought I would just hold it in all weekend. Well finally reality set in one morning and I took off running into the woods in panic. I found a spot and I don't think I even got my pants completely down before I let loose. About 5 seconds later a swarm of wasps starts coming out of the ground near by which I must have stepped on coming in. They came close and began to sting me so I had to throw my pants up shitting them in the process and take off running. Oh fun days. :p
User avatar
RoguePhotonic
Topix Fanatic
 
Posts: 1665
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:52 am
Location: Bakersfield CA
Experience: Level 4 Explorer

User avatar

Re: I crapped my pants

Postby sparky » Tue Mar 17, 2015 6:57 pm

Well well, that was unnecessarily descriptive!
There is a million ways to be human, all are worthwhile.

True happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.
-Chuang Tzu.
User avatar
sparky
Topix Expert
 
Posts: 880
Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 10:01 am
Experience: N/A

User avatar

Re: I crapped my pants

Postby ERIC » Tue Mar 17, 2015 7:55 pm

In most cases TMI is fine, but let's please minimize the profanity. Frowned upon here even in acronym/shortcode form to get around word sensors. :thumbsup:
New members, please consider giving us an intro!
Follow us on Twitter @HighSierraTopix. Use hashtags #SIERRAPHILE #GotSierra? #GotMountains?
Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HighSierraTopix
User avatar
ERIC
Your Humble Host & Forums Administrator
Your Humble Host & Forums Administrator
 
Posts: 2909
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2005 9:13 am
Location: between the 916 and 661
Experience: Level 4 Explorer

User avatar

Re: I crapped my pants

Postby ucangler » Thu Mar 19, 2015 3:44 pm

LOL Rogue...wasps..yea that sucked lol
User avatar
ucangler
Topix Acquainted
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:23 pm
Experience: N/A

User avatar

Re: I crapped my pants

Postby austex » Thu Mar 19, 2015 10:40 pm

It has flash backs to the Saterday Night Live skit of the guy in a '65 Mustang convrtable towing an Andy Gump!...
User avatar
austex
Topix Regular
 
Posts: 365
Joined: Mon May 21, 2012 11:51 am
Location: Austin, Texas
Experience: N/A


Return to The Campfire



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest