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Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:06 pm
by SSSdave
Not at all a simple issue to discuss and here I'll just make a few points.

As some have said, IT DEPENDS...

Situations on the trail are not that much different than entering conversations with strangers in urban settings Like with those one may be waiting in some line with for whatever reason like at a bank or supermarket check-out, a person in the next seat on a bar stool, the person next to you on an airline flight or bus, a guy fishing on the shore you are passing by or vice versa. A long long list of situations with a broad list of types and behaviors of participants. Even in urban settings, there are simply some personalities who do not really enjoy talking even to their friends. Ever sit next to someone like that at a social function and try to engage them in conversation? After a couple of simple openings one ought sense the situation and just move on. Additionally on remote trails one ought understand a reason many solo hikers seek out such remote places is to flow along without interactions with other people. So people coming across others ought be aware of that and respect such.

It is part of a person's social nature to be able to assess what is appropriate in every situation. As we mature, most of us get better at it while others never do. For a person that has developed a strong wise social intelligence that can pay enormous benefits in work and social environments. Some people are very timid, reserved, and or shy. Or someone may be in a temporary bad mood for whatever reason and only want to be left to stew alone. Heck maybe you just ran into them after they had taken a nap for a couple hours and are still groggy. Others may be annoying, obnoxious, rude, and aggressive. Like the person in your story, some may be oblivious to the perceptions of other parties. Some talkative people are both great talkers and great listeners while others dominate talking usually rambling on about their own experience without seeming to care that the other party might have something to say and when they do are quick to interrupt. Often those overly talkative tend to not be aware of usual non-verbal signals from other parties to back off. And just because one party pleasantly enjoins one in an initial conversation doesn't necessarily mean they are going to want to continue to do so beyond a brief interchange.

Personally I tend to be reserved around strangers feeling uncomfortable engaging others in conversation without reason unless it is normal to do so in a situation. However I do enjoy conversation and when I meet an intelligent stranger that seems to share that gift, may readily engage them in a lively discussion. And how long that lasts depends...

David

Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 12:01 pm
by bikebones
I think this often comes down to E.I. ; Emotional Intelligence. I enjoy both hiking solo and with partners. When hiking solo, I like to interact with hikers I come across, but I try to be very cognizant of facial, body, and verbal language to determine just how much the hiker wants to engage or conversely, NOT engage in conversation and shooting the breeze. Usually you can tell within a few sentences, and then act accordingly by moving on quickly if it's apparent the other hiker(s) don't particularly want more interaction.

It's funny to read about the "stalker groups" some have documented here. Heck, it's NOT hard to lose people out there! Just step off the trail a few and let them go by if you can't outrun them. Yes, you'll lose some time and have to alter your plans a bit, but it's your choice. =]

Great topic!

Jim

Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:08 pm
by JBenz
Interesting that you use 'we'. Are you solo or hiking with someone else?

I am seeking a partner because I don't consider hiking heavily used trails as solo. Solo to me means not seeing anybody for several days.
I also hiking with groups but groups don't go off trail. Off trail is a different experience. It is the puzzle, the pristine, the fishing, the necessary skills. It is exploring. My wife, my hiking partner all these years, can no longer do the rough terrain and I am reaching an age where 4 nights by myself in the wilderness is truly max. If you are interested seeing new territory in 2011 contact me by PM.
JBenz

Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 8:45 pm
by Wandering Daisy
Wow! This post is an old one that got bumped up.

I think in the original post, "solo" referred to the solo fellow who met the HST couple ("we"). In most of the subsequence posts, HST members were the ones who were "solo" and groups they met wanted to talk too much or actually join them.

The point is, are you really "solo" if you repeatedly try to join up with others on the trail. An interesting example are PCT hikers. Most go "solo" but form fluid groups (their "trail family") as they travel along. They kind of want their cake and eat it too; companionship with no commitment. Lean on others when needed, then scoot off ahead if they feel the group is slowing them down. They are solo in the sense that they do not share equipment and are self-sufficient. But they are not solo because they lean on others when needed and PCT hikers are VERY social people!

So I have an added question to this post. What was the longest stretch of true solo days have you had- NEVER even seeing another person, let alone talking to them?

My longest was 7 days. On another trip, my only encounter was a couple on day 7 of a 14 day trip. We chatted for about 5 minutes. I very often go 3-4 days without seeing anyone. All of these trips had long stretches of off-trail travel.

Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 9:54 pm
by JBenz
I am seeking a partner because I don't consider hiking heavily used trails as solo. Solo to me means not seeing anybody for several days. My maximum is 7 days back pack solo = max food. Well 10 days when I was young and had access to intermittent car resupply. Neither were good psychology. Now I'm older. I'm looking for a hiking partner that can do the rough terrain and put up with and old fart. Point of all this is I am done doing solo in the wilderness past 4 nights. My wife can no longer join me. I am looking for a partner in 2020 to do up to 8 days 6 night in a wilderness. Willing to think about out of state. I am 70 years old and still pushing hard. 2019 hikes took 18 high school students on their first 2 day back pack, my grandson on his first 3 day pack pack with a climb up Mt. Eddy, two over-nighters with my wife in the Marbles and Trinities., a 15 day group trip in Sequoia, and a 6 day 4 night solo in the Moke.
JBenz

Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2019 1:09 pm
by rightstar76
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Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:05 pm
by thegib
I do a lot of solo hiking. I'm after solitude and the sublime - the fewer the traces of humanity the better. When I do run into someone I'm surprised, and I assume that they're part of my 'clan'. So I'm curious what route they're undertaking, and the conditions they found, but also I assume they value their privacy as much as I do. So I give 'em a wide berth.

Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2019 9:13 pm
by sekihiker
markskor wrote: Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:09 pm Maybe naïve or lucky, but never had any problem reading anyone in the backcountry, especially miles back. More than one day in, you can generally tell in just a few seconds who wants to chat and who wants solitude…OK with both.
I couldn't have said it better. Even from a distance, I try to sense whether someone else would welcome contact just by looking at body language. Often the body language indicates no, so I try to stay out of view.

Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2019 10:17 pm
by balzaccom
sekihiker wrote: Mon Nov 18, 2019 9:13 pm
markskor wrote: Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:09 pm Maybe naïve or lucky, but never had any problem reading anyone in the backcountry, especially miles back. More than one day in, you can generally tell in just a few seconds who wants to chat and who wants solitude…OK with both.
I couldn't have said it better. Even from a distance, I try to sense whether someone else would welcome contact just by looking at body language. Often the body language indicates no, so I try to stay out of view.
Generally true, but I've also run into a couple of folks deep in the back country who seemed oblivious to the fact that my wife and I wanted to enjoy the space and wilderness on our own---and didn't want a hiking companion for a few hours or more. Despite the fact that they had chosen to hike solo, they were clearly anxious to join our party of two for a while. In one case, we simply had to find a way to separate ourselves from him.

Re: Hiking solo....or not?

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2019 10:50 am
by Wandering Daisy
Not everyone has the ability (or perhaps never taught when growing up) to read body language or pick up social ques. I have a few backpacking friends who are very "chatty" when they meet people. They actually think I am unfriendly; I on the other hand, cringe at their intrusiveness into someone else's space. In fact I have a family member who is a bit on the Asperger side- runs down a rabbit hole with endless tedious technical details as my eyes glaze over and never gets it!

I find the best method is to simply say, "have a nice trip, but I have to leave and prefer to hike alone". Maybe blunt, but people who do not pick up on your body language may actually need (and appreciate) a direct message. These hikers may be hiking solo because few people have the patience to tolerate them, not because they want solitude! Anyway, I try to remain kind but firm in not wanting them to join me.